Robert Ryan Sauter, 60, of Moorhead, MN, passed away on Saturday, April 22, 2023, at Sanford Health Hospital, Wheaton, MN.
“My name is Robert Ryan Sauter,and I died at the age of 60.
I decided to write my own obituary because they are usually written in a couple of different ways that I just don't care for.
Either, family or friends gather together, and list every minor accomplishment from cradle to grave in a timeline format, or they try and create one poetic last stanza about someone's life that is so glowing one would think the deceased had been the living embodiment of a deity.
I don't like the timeline format because, let's face it, I never really accomplished anything of note.
Other than having my two wonderful, lovable, witty and amazing daughters (Ashley Leslie and Artist Nichole Rae) and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior - I have done very little.
None of which requires obit space that I have to shell out money for.
I also didn't want a bunch of my friends or family sitting around writing a glowing report of me, which we all know would be filled with fish tales, half-truths, impossible scenarios, and out-right-honest-to-goodness-lies.
I just don't like to put people in that kind of situation.
The truth, or my version of it, is this: I just tried to do the best I could.
Sometimes I succeeded, most of the time I failed, but I tried.
For all of my crazy comments, jokes and complaints, I really did love people.
The only thing that separates me from anyone else is the type of sin each of us participated in.
I didn't always do the right thing or say the right thing and when you come to the end of your life those are the things you really regret, the small simple things that hurt other people.
My life was not perfect and I encountered many, many bumps in the road.
I would totally scrap the years of my life from age 25 to 40 OK, maybe 14 to 40... I think that would eradicate most of my fashion disasters and hair missteps from the '80s.
But mostly, I enjoyed life.
Well and a decent bottle of scotch.
Some parts of it were harder than others, but I learned something from every bad situation and I couldn't do any more than that.
Besides there are some benefits to dying youngish, for example, I still owe on my loans and the jokes on them cuz I'm not paying them.
Plus, I am no longer afraid of serial killers, telemarketers or the IRS.
I don't have to worry about wrinkles or the ozone layer and/or hide from the news during election season.
Some folks told me that writing my own obituary was morbid, but I think it is great because I get a chance to say thank you to all the people who helped me along the way.
Those who loved me, assisted me, cared for me, laughed with me and taught me things so that I could have a wonderful, happy life.
I was blessed beyond measure by knowing all of you. That is what made my life worthwhile.
If you think of me, and would like to do something in honor of my memory do this:
In lieu of flowers a memorial fund should be set up at the St. Jude's children's fund. Gifts and the like can be donated to them.”
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, 30yr old Scotch in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride!"
AKA Bullet Bob
A Celebration Of Life will be held later this summer with a potluck reception following, everyone is welcome to attend.
Memorial Fund has been set up as requested above